I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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