Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize