You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Vodka?
Forever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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