Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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