being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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