Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize