Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
