Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
