so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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