You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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