If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize