Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
