He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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