So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
