yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my being single is dangerous.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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