I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
