There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
