i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
