you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize