I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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