So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
