a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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