I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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