Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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