I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
