we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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