Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
