plz talk dirty to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize