garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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