Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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