Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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