if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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