saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
