Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
