Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
