Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
