Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
