I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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