At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
