No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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