We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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