it hurts more in the daytime
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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