Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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