How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
