I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
