I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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