careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
