I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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