this beer tastes like vomit already
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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