using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
