you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
