I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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