I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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