at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
