You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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