please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
