Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize