Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize