i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
