dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
