Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
