Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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