You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
