You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you made out with another girl for some wings
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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