I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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