He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
